We all know that self-confidence is an important trait.

People who exude self-confidence do well in this world—they are successful in work and relationships. More importantly, they are happy in their daily lives and less likely to be affected by rejection, stress, and anxiety. In other words, they are more resilient.

Therefore, it would behoove each of us to build our self-confidence.

Of course, that is easier said than done. After all, if you lack self-esteem, how are you supposed to just suddenly feel like you have it?

Actually, there are plenty of things that you can do to build self-confidence. Here are five ways to start today.

1. Do More of What You’re Good At

Make a list of all of the things that you’re really good at doing. If you have trouble coming up with a list, ask the friends and family that you trust the most.

Then, look at the list and identify 3-5 things on it that you truly enjoy. Now find ways to do those things more frequently. But even more so, find ways to celebrate those things!

For example, maybe you are really good at baking. Plus, it’s something you love to do. So, you could…

• …make every Sunday a baking day.
• …sign up for a class to grow your baking skills even more.
• …replace current TV shows you’re watching with baking shows to inspire you.
• …host a monthly baking party at your home.
• …make baked goods for the office, a charity, or someone you love.

When you do what you’re good at, you can’t help but feel better about yourself.

2. Learn New Skills

On the other hand, you might also want to work on things that you aren’t so good at. If you begin building new skills, you will feel empowered in completely new ways. You will stop seeing yourself as “someone who doesn’t.” For instance, you’ll no longer be someone who doesn’t run, someone who can’t sew, or someone who isn’t good at math.

Of course, you have to work through the uncomfortable period of not being good at something. However, if you can keep in mind that you’re a beginner, then you can simply immerse yourself and enjoy the process of learning.

Remember, as you gain new skills, celebrate those achievements!

3. Make a Brag Book

Speaking of achievements, you already have a lot of them in your life. So, set aside some time to make yourself a personal “brag book,” highlighting all of your accomplishments.

Choose the things that you are truly proud of, big and small. It’s not always the huge accomplishments that make you feel the best. So, spend some time thinking about the things you achieved that really have meaning to you.

This book is for your personal use, not necessarily to brag in front of others. You can bring it out every time you need a self-esteem boost.

4. Watch Your Language

The things we say matter. This includes the things that we say to ourselves. Negative self-talk eats away at self-esteem. So, pay attention to what you say—aloud and within your own mind. Keep an eye out for any language that puts yourself down. And actively replace that language with positive words.

For example, what do you say when you look in the mirror? If it’s something unkind, then you need to practice looking in the mirror and saying nice things about yourself. You might even say them out loud. That makes an even greater impact.

Likewise, notice what you say when people compliment you. Do you dismiss them and put yourself down? You need to start lifting yourself up!

5. Be of Service to Others

Ironically, one of the best things you can do to build your self-esteem is to stop focusing on yourself. Instead, focus on ways to help others. Volunteer somewhere, truly listen when people speak, or ask yourself what you can do to help someone today.

When you turn your attention to giving, you spread the love. When you engage in acts of love, you worry less about your own flaws. In fact, you’ll begin feeling like something bigger than yourself. This helps remind you that you are part of a special world, and therefore, you are special as well.

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All of the above-mentioned tips will help you build your self-confidence if you learn to apply them. However, sometimes, there are unresolved issues that eat away at self-esteem for which you may need extra help. Therapy can assist you in addressing those issues.

For more information about anxiety or depression counseling, click here.

About the Author

Julia Nelson, LPCA, LMFTA is a psychotherapist and owns a private practice in Henderson County, (Flat Rock) NC and Rutherford County, (Forest City) NC. In general, she specializes in couples counseling, anxiety and depression counseling, premarital counseling, and parenting classes.  She is also a Certified Clinical Military Counselor. To find out more about Julia click here: Nelson Christian Counseling.

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